Listen, friend, I know you had a plan (I did too), and I know you wanted things to go according to that plan (I did too). But instead, here we are, sitting with the reality that things don't always go according to the plans we had, and the truth is — that's painful (and maybe it can also be beautiful.. but maybe not right now).
I know it’s hard to watch your friends live their lives according to the plans you had, and to watch the lives of others unfolding the way you thought yours would. I imagine sometimes it feels like you’re the odd one out.. wondering why it always seems to work out for everyone else, except you.
My own journey has taken me through many seasons of loss, transition, and re-routing the plans I thought I had. I’ve had to leave behind the places I thought I was meant to be and the people I thought would be in my life forever. And maybe for a time, they were exactly right for me — until they weren’t.
As the calendar resets and another year begins, may we reflect on change.
As I reflect on change, where I was, where I am, and where I am going, I have lots of questions, and little feels certain. At the same time, while many things remain uncertain, what is clearer than ever before is who I am, what is alive in my heart, and the way I want to be in this world.
Things will always change. We live in a world where things are in constant motion, and as much as we want to try to control things, the truth is — many things are out of our control. So instead of focusing on control, forcing, and trying to make things work, what if we leaned back a little? What if we focused on getting right with ourselves first? Really though.. are you on good terms with you? Or are there some hard conversations you need to have with yourself to get things right?
If you too are in a season of change, keep reading as we explore the key ways we can support ourselves as we find the courage to beginng again.
Embrace the Neutral Zone
There is a special invitation in all such experiences: when we are ready to make a new beginning, we will shortly find an opportunity. You may have heard the saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears,” or perhaps you’ve had an experience where you just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Maybe you picked up a book that never resonated before, and all of a sudden, at this exact moment, it hits you in exactly the right way. This is no mistake.
The difference lies in whether the event is coded to the transition point you’re currently in. When the code matches, the door opens, and everything seems to align as if it were scripted just for you. But when it doesn’t, it’s not a failure. It’s simply that the neutral zone hasn’t finished with you yet. You are in the in-between.
This is that in-between space where one chapter has closed but the next hasn’t yet begun—and it is often uncomfortable. We live so much of life in this space, even if we’re reluctant to admit it. The inner realignment and renewal that must happen depends on you being immersed in this chaos. It’s messy and uncertain, but it’s necessary. Growth happens here, even if it’s hard to see while you’re in it.
Lean into the Courage to Begin Again
Beginning again is an act of courage. It requires you to acknowledge what’s no longer working and release the grip on what’s already passed. It asks you to lean into the unknown, to let go of the safety of what you thought your life would be. But beginning again also holds the promise of something new. It’s an opportunity to realign with your values, rediscover your passions, and step into a version of yourself that feels more authentic and alive.
Sometimes beginning again can feel like starting over, and it may feel like it has been thrust upon us through circumstances beyond our control: the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or an unexpected life event. Other times, it’s a choice we make—to leave a job that drains us, to end a relationship that’s no longer healthy, or to move to a place that feels more aligned with who we are becoming. Both require bravery, and both are valid.
Let Go of Comparison
It’s easy to compare our lives to others, especially when social media provides a constant highlight reel of other people’s successes. But comparison steals joy. It’s a trap that distracts you from your own path and makes you feel like you’re falling behind. The truth is, no one has it all figured out, even if it looks like they do. Everyone is navigating their own challenges, even if they’re not visible from the outside.
Your journey is yours alone. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Trust that where you are right now is exactly where you’re meant to be, even if it’s messy, uncertain, and not what you planned. Trust that the lessons you’re learning in this season will serve you in the seasons to come.
Notice "Should's"
Whenever you notice yourself "should-ing" yourself, which may sound like "I should be grateful for..", "I should call...", "I should be over it by now", or some other variation, I encourage you to get curious and ask yourself some questions..
Says who?
Where did you learn that?
Who's voice does this sound like?
Is that even your truth?
What else could be true here?
Follow Your Longing
Don't settle for good enough, if something in you tells you that more is possible, then you're not done yte. You feel that way because there is a part of you that knows, there is a part of you that longs for something different, something better, something more. Trust the longing.
Practical Steps to Begin Again:
If you’re ready to turn the page and embrace the courage to start over, here are a few practical steps to guide you:
Acknowledge the Ending: Take time to grieve what’s ending. Honor the loss, reflect on what it taught you, and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise. If you're unsure of how to be with grief or where to begin, check out our resources.
Clarify Your Values: What matters most to you? What kind of life do you want to create? Use the answers to these questions to guide your next steps.
Take Small Steps: Starting over doesn’t have to mean making huge changes all at once. Focus on one small, meaningful step at a time.
Seek Support: You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on friends, family, or a therapist who can provide direction, encouragement, and perspective.
Be Patient with Yourself: Change takes time. Allow yourself to move through the process at your own pace, without judgment.
Give Yourself the Permission Your Need: Most of us grew up havign to ask for permission, to do much of anything. We asked permission from our parents to play with our friends, from our teachers to go to the bathroom, from our bosses to have time off. Maybe we've never really given ourselves permission to trust our own knowing and to do what our heart asks of us. What would be different if you were your own parents, teacher, or boss? Can you give yourself permission to do what you need to do to be right with yourself?
You are allowed to quit that job that kills your spirit. You are allowed to prioritize your happiness. You are allowed to live your life on your own terms. You are allowed to do the thing your heart is asking of you even if everyone else thinks you shouldn't. You are allowed to disappoint people. You are allowed to get it wrong, and then to get it wrong again. You are allowed to take the adveture. You are allowed to follow your heart over logic.
I give myself permission to __________ .
You are allowed to do what you need to do for yourself, for your life to feels like yours again. It might not make any sense right now in this moment, but one day you will look back and thank yourself for doing the things people looked at your sideways for.
Dream Again: Allow yoruself to dream again. One of my favorite and simple ways to dream again and beginning playing with my visions is to get on Pinterest and create a vision for the life I am feeling into and dreaming about. Putting a visiual to it can help things it feel more real, tangile, and can serve as a visual reminder of the dirction you are moving.
Finding Beauty in the Unknown. As much as we resist it, there is beauty in the unknown. The spaces where we feel lost and untethered are often where we discover our deepest truths. These are the places where we learn resilience, creativity, and the power of hope.
You don’t have to have all the answers to move forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to take the first step. Trust the process, even when it feels uncertain. Trust yourself, even when you feel unsure.
Turning the page doesn’t mean forgetting what came before. It means carrying the lessons with you, and weaving your experiences into the fabric of your being, as you step into the next chapter. It means believing that something beautiful is on the other side, even if you can’t see it yet.
So, dear friend, take a deep breath. Gather your courage. And when you’re ready, turn the page.
Over here in our world we aren't doing grief work the way we’ve been sold, taught, and fed throughout our lives. If you’re like us, you’re ready to do it differently.
Ready to take the next step? Download Being with Grief, our f r e e workbook designed to help you redefine your relationship with loss. Inside, you'll find powerful somatic practices, meaningful rituals, and journaling prompts to support your journey.
About Us:
Weaving Grief specializes in compassionate grief therapy for individuals navigating loss of any kid, relationship transitions, chronic illness and existential questions about life and death. By addressing these profound experiences, Weaving Grief empowers clients to grieve freely and live fully. Through somatic practices and meaningful reflection, we’re here to help you navigate these tender moments and rediscover the fullness of life.
Specific areas of focus: death of a loved one (recent or past), life changing transitions, relationship transitions and break ups, pregnancy loss, grief around family planning, chronic illness, loss of Self, and supporting entrepreneurs through the grief that comes with growth.
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